Remember that when creating my website I mentioned the parallel between us and hermit crabs? We deserve to live in the right shell.
I have several customers who do not authorize themselves to loose weight because they subconsciously believe that having a pretty body will attract problems.
I recall when I was a student in Paris, I had the same belief, and after being assaulted I decided to hide in the crowd, not expressing any sign of being a women.
The impact on me did not last (just 10 pounds) but I realize that for some people it can have a more severe impact.
If you want to go beyond this, you may consider seeking some help. Help to define your roots problems with family members, friends, psychologist. Help to define who you want to be with the help of a supportive person or a coach.